jesus does my vocal tests

climbing the hills next to the house and we semi sorted out magazines from 1950 onwards that have been kept in the barn but somehow seem to be undamaged by gods armies


Alyssa and I were in a town with a free Zoo. I'll be honest - it was awesome, as it was free. We walked around and saw children running and shouting, with adults chasing them. We saw sealions, we saw spiders, we saw a llamas and we saw snakes. The llama was irrirate and moody and the sealion was playful and childlike. It was a startling reminder of an old friendship with Jim, but in this amazing, exciting way. I'd like to see him be a sealion again.


Today was hot.
The Sun was high in the sky and unrelenting in its fury to scorch earth and skin alike, so today we decided to climb the hills dominating the valley surrounding the house. They seemed to get steeper and higher as we climbed, but this could have been our imagination. It seemed to go on forever, constantly uphill and with little shade to cover my cut off tee and my tiny red shorts.

This morning I checked how much a flight from Geneva to Gatwick would cost me, plus trains and automobiles just to compare prices. I've been talking to Dan recently, with the possibility of going to Bournemouth for a few days to spend time with Tom and himself. I'd like to do this, as it'd be a nice break before getting home.

I might end up at Offset this year again, with Jayne helping me there thankfully.
Last year was fun, but I left really early to go home for some reason so this year I really should just get fucked up like Russy Evans does.
It's been nice to talk to people at home, even on things like my last.fm shoutbox. It's always great to get a message, or a bullshit email from an american jew girl about her toes, or something from the heart about ebay and missing people.


I feel like things are setting into place for the final three weeks here, and I've been so fortunate to do this now. Things are in place in my mind, in my head and in my heart.
I know where I am going, and I know where I've been. Soon it will be time to leave, and I will be sad.


I think I'll call this picture Rape.

i think im crazy baby to let you off the hook too easy

i think mick foley is getting abit too old to wrestle rocky balboa and the pursuit of happyness is so overrated it makes me sick.


So the American is here. She seems nice.
Her name is Alyssa, she's from Sacramento CA. We went for a walk this morning with the dogs, got pretty high up into the hills too - until i got tired and sat down.

I have been doing alot of thinking about things, I think thats what this summer has really been about for me - being by myself, with myself. I realise that there are goals I want to achieve and tasks I need to set up when I get back, things that I want in my life. I've been reading alot.
I find passing time thinking about my future and my life really makes the time fly, and that it isn't thinking that will get me anywhere. It's doing something, finding a goal, and achieving it.
Even Big Will said it.

Christopher Gardner: Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?
Christopher: All right.
Christopher Gardner: You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.


This has been an awesome summer. People will come and go, but always leave a mark on your mind, with the high highs and low lows, memories, pictures, music and laughter.

But mostly, the moments.

I know what I have to do, I know what I have to do, I know what I have to do.


Watching people galvanize and inspire greatness, intensity and courage, even for a second, can be a wonderful thing to witness. To see and hear these events, you realise things. It becomes clear, like suddenly things are different in your eyes. You feel like telling everyone you speak to about how noble the event was, or how different you feel.
You can catch a glimpse, hear someone talk with fire and passion - about something that meant little to you before, and suddenly be filled with this sense of belief. You could observe friends on a bus full of people and see something worth remembering and noting to tell someone else, someone who gets what you mean when you say,

" Man, I just sat there all day reading and watching youtube speaches of Bobby Kennedy. "

Things look like they are going to be good from now on. I got inspired.

i think the greatest hip hop album ever made is Doe or Die. its just off the fucking pan its so good.

this girl that is here got touched by her dad and her mum knew but did nothing so she now cant talk to her children lol.


This week is speeding by, its somehow Wednesday already. Like, that seems insane to me.
I smashed glass and window panes yesterday, and today i cleaned a barn out. It was insanely dusty, like insanely. I hoped at the end of it i'd look like one of those 9/11 dust mask people, but I didn't.

There are now only five days til this next person arrives. Five. Seems crazy to me, an American girl is going to be here. Will I want to kill her? I hope she isn't fat and have curly hair.

Innitially I was excited, then that turned into dread. Now I just feel a combination of all of them. Pierrette was talking about having a few days away in America, and to leave this girl and myself here to look after the place. I started freaking out about this as I had a horrible feeling I would hate this other person, then that subsided and I've decided to just wait and see.

The sun came out like a badman recently, and cooked the Earth. But today, johnny raincloud is back. I was in a barn all day, so I didn't even notice.
Oh, I've decided that I'm gonna come back when I run out of film. 10 rolls left, 13 rolls used.

PEACE. x

ouija board, wont you work for me? ITS TOO LATE TO BE A PESSIMIST

husker du were so good at one point, no fuck that, at every point. i went to a horse riding competition yesterday with Pierrette and her two girls, one of them was entered but not entered to win blah blah.


It was wet and cold, like real cold. But it was a good day, I took some pictures of Amie riding about doing the jumps.
In the evening Pierrette took me to her neighbours house who were showing Home , a movie about how we are destroying our planet. At this point I really want to point out that this was shown in a home cinema in an attic that seats 30-45 people. It was insane, like, everyone sat there and just watched this movie that was informative, yet somehow seemed to really miss the punchline. Like, I felt WHOA GOD THATS CRAZY after but it didn't really tell you what to do about all
these terrible things we are doing to the planet that we live on.
Its like one of those adverts where the kids are covered in flies and they tell you how bad life is for them then it doesn't give you a number to call and donate, it just wants you to know that you are lucky and some people are not.
Anyway, the house was fucking awesome. Like, to get to the attic you had to go outside and up this winding metal staircase. Shit was insane.

I'm walking the dogs basically everyday now, they seem nice.
I think I will go for a bike ride to the mountains now, I do not have anything else to tell you about anything. Erm, actually on the 27th there is another HelpX person coming. An American girl apparenlty, so that should be something new.
Roll on the 27th.

Oh, and it has been really nice to talk to you guys that have either caught me on MSN on emailed, it has been lovely talking to you all.

bienvenue! statut de connection: hors ligne.

...and i arrived in Toulouse and started to panic again as i couldn't find a cash machine so i eventually find one and now i'm in Switzerland walking dogs and picking berries and hanging out with a french family of teenage girls that don't want to speak english at all but they are pleasant and friendly i think. I hope they don't talk about me behind my back or worse, to my face but i won't understand them! Oh no!


Anyway, now I'm in Switzerland. Right now. I'm inbetween a town called Biel and Neuchatel, i forget the name of the actual town though.
Ah, but i forgot to mention that when i was in Toulouse - it was Bastille Day. Which meant French people getting drunk and partying, more than they usually do i guess. There was like, a festival going on in the main street of Toulouse, which stopped traffic so they could hold it. It was okay to hang about there, but my bag was heavy so i just sat at the station reading 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea instead.
At 12:00 they opened the gate for me to go through to get the overnight train to Geneva, and there was a HUGE firework display going on. They noise was incredible! Everyone stopped to see what was happening, it was like a war movie - oh, and they were playing French Opera over a overhead speaker really loudly too, so the whole thing just came across like some insane Roman Polinski movie. Everyone applauded at the end, it was actually crazy how many fireworks they must have used though.

When the train pulled in everyone gets on and i find my seat next to this middle aged guy, he seemed okay.
I was abit annoyed and disappointed as I wanted to see the mountains, and travelling overnight I would miss them.. or so I thought.
I wake up at Lyon, where the train is stopping and everyone gets off and i strat to panic again as i thought it was a non stop to Geneva but it wasn't and i start fretting and in the end decide to sit down, after asking a nice french man anyway.

Now, i cannot put into words how beautiful this was. The sun had just risen, and the mist was rolling down the mountains.
It went on for mile after mile, small villages and towns, surrounded by these huge mountains gave everything this peaceful feel. coming to Switzerland was worth it, i felt so happy. This is a link to the rest, just looking at them makes my heart ache actually.


I got to Geneva and had a wander, got some fruit and water - i've basically been living on that for the past few days; entirely my choice though - and made my way to the river by a bridge where i ate my breakfast and waited til i heard from Pierrette, my host in Switzerland.

After hearing from her and watching this jet spray thing that was in the river and telling beggars to go away i went back to the station, and had a wash. I then got some lunch, and got my ticket to Neuchatel train station where i was going to be picked up.

I got there, she seems lovely etc etc and takes me to her a second hand shop, then home to her village in the French part of Switzerland.
Its beautiful here, its in a sort of valley where trees cover the sides on both sides of it - its insane to look at.
So i got here, put together an Ikea unit thing then had dinner.
That was my first day. That was it.
I felt tired, run down and a little crazy from the constant travelling - to the point where i didn't know how i felt. But she has two gorgeous dogs, i'm really starting to like them.
Oh, Pierrette's niece came over, she was nice. Everyone is nice. It's bizarre.

I picked berries yesterday, to make into jelly and jam. That was it. Then went to a swimming pool disco in the evening, which was a little strange but its a small town so all the kids were there.
I think I expected tough work i guess. But its raining today, and I've cleaned the kitchen and walked the dogs.
Roll on August, as this place seems quite good fun.
Au Revoir, mon amies.

seeing bruce play with the gaslight anthem actually made me change my entire view on them, i illegally downloaded their demos fuk yeh

So what have i learned from being away?

It's been fifteen days since i left England, and it still seems longer. Y'know, TWO WEEKS just flies by - but somehow i still feel it.
Being away has made me remember what is important, and what really isn't. I think I worked it out the other day, that I really can't wait to be home; but I just don't want to leave yet.

There has been up points and down points on Uwins Farm. Like, I honestly have very little respect for Zoe and her views - I can't change that now, it's just stuck in my head now. Fran is, well.. he's got his good and bad points. I enjoy him, but i found that i don't like him.


My last day was spent chopping logs and wood with Reuben in the morning. We talk alot these days, and I will miss it. He's a smart guy, and I like listening to him. He's got alot of time for peope he respects, and I'd like to think he respects me.

All in all? I'm really fucking happy I'm going to Switzerland, and onto somewhere else. I feel more confident this time, more settled; as if i've done it all before and i'm a hardcore traveller.
This of course will all fall out of my ass when I get to Switzerland and panic wildly as I have no idea where I am. Peace be with you all, I'm happy.

the good life

I'm leaving for Toulouse tomorrow, Reuben is giving me a lift.
Today was a good day, i got burnt again. In some insane way, whenever i get burnt it turns out to be a good day.
Fran seemed genuinely suprised when i told him i was going tomorrow, Zoe not so much.

It'd love to say I'm gonna miss this place, but i'm not. I'll miss Rueben, and probably Fran. And Noggin.
I've enjoyed it, but i'm glad it's time to move on.

hi Sam, come anytime, tell me what you need to know or call and we can make arrangements. kind regards see you soon Pierette

OH MY GOD IM GOING TO SWITZERLAND this is such a moment. like, actually shaking here oh wow.

I woke up this morning with a change of heart. I felt lighter, almost serene. It was such different feeling to how i've been waking recently, i expect it was because I did nothing but read and sleep yesterday. But I can't help but believe that it was because I knew today was going to be good, different, full of emails from Swiss men that are excellent and exciting.

As i was in my bunk finishing watching The Shining this morning as i couldn't finish it last night - seriously, watching The Shining alone in a caravan was really frightning. I was constantly thinking about a chainsaw revving from the barn next to me then someone cutting the door apart - Zoe called me to let me know about these hot air balloons that were flying in the distance. Apparently, once a year - around about the time of the country and western festival held here - they fly from one location to another, across the fields and houses. The effect wasn't insane as she made out, but it still looked great against the backdrop of the Pyrenées Mountains.
So once a year at this country and western festival, they all dress as cowboys and indians and fanny about in the town square. Last year the cast of Dallas was here. Fuckin' Dallas bro.
Fuk Yer.

So today is the big BBQ and baseball game that the Uwins hold every year. I'm actually really psyked about playing baseball - i haven't played since school, so hopefully i'm still as good as Frank Thomas when he was in his prime (i have a feeling only Russ would know who Frank Thomas is, maybe a Starbucks conversation or something.)

Anyway, hopefully by tomorrow I will have a travel plan to Switzerland.
I hope it's by train; I have this fantasy of the Swiss mountains and me just watching them roll by, mile after mile.

Peace. xo

pinky swear

Today has just been glorious.

I have done nothing but read and lay about, then go online. So besides boredom, nothing could be wrong. I'm still waiting for a response from Swiss man, and I've asked Swiss woman what dates was she thinking of for me to come to her. I haven't replied to the Irish guy who has the monkey sanctuary, as i'll just wait to see what the Swiss are doing first. If all else fails, i could just stay here and go to Spain at the end of the month but i really want to move on from here. I could obviously just get up and go, but i'm not that desperate yet.
Oh, and this is what i did yesterday.

Its about 15 bales high.